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Thu, 27 Jun 2002 10:30:00
What a night to pick to not check my email!
An old friend of mine, Sid, was in town last night, and so I avoided the humachinterface successfully for the last 24 hours. Sid has left me blearyeyed and sore from our indulgences. My apologies for not getting to the email sooner.
And now there are 14 messages in my inbox. A man in Lagos urgently requires my assistance in some financial matters. I need to make a deposit in his account, after which he'll double my money. Pitney Bowles wants me to purchase all my postage online. Someone is fervently recommending a German Rape Sex! site to me. Clearance at Overstock.com wants me to buy clean white sheets. Travelocity wants me to travel to Orlando. Hilton wants to give me points for staying in their hotel while I'm there, and Expedia just made a counteroffer for my business from Travelocity, only to be pre-empted by American who are luring me there with miles. I wonder if the man in Lagos has ever had Rape Sex! in Orlando on crisp white sheets--maybe with the mouse? I hate that mouse.
But forget all that spam and ephemera.
You want to have sex
While I'm typically a romantic, the candlelit dinner for two, flowers and moonlit strolls type of guy, your requirements suit me fine. I mean I'm not a fatalist, so I'm not quite sure that I can jump in with no hopes for something with more duration than one tryst, but certainly I'll have no expectations.
NO VD here. This whistle is clean.
I will break open my piggy bank and you order whatever you want from the menu. Vino only the best. And I'm not the type to object to a lady picking up a hotel room after we have sex in it.
I just hope that I can fulfill your needs/desires in the allotted time frame.
See you at the Italian Village.
I really hope this isn't one of my crueler friends playing some kind of joke.
But I am suspending my sense of disbelief.