State of the Union: the violent are trying to take the earth

Just for kicks, I attempted to summarize/narrate the 2006 State of the Union Address over iChat with Nick Monfort while I watched it on television, as he was writing some kind of interactive fiction program instead of taking in the important annual national narrative.

the violent are trying to take the earth
but we love our planet and we will keep it
trying
you listening to W?
) nope
) I’m trying to do serious IF work here
fishious attackers battlefield own shores no honor in retreat
9:20 PM
the UNITED STATES WILL NOT RETREAT FROM THE WORLD
Hell Yeah!
we saved liberty in Europe, and faced down an evil umpire

we’re on the offensive!
Hoowee
difference between helpful criticism and defeatism
9:25 PM
in the base of the pass
vital mission
) this is better than the SOTU drinking game
) particularly since I’m drinking, too
uniform sacrifices fear
desert heat
roadside bomb
costs/stakes
letter from a dead soldier
honor to die for my country
dead soldier’s mom and dad standing proud
proud of their dead son who wrote that letter so well
grateful to the fallen
thanks guys
sacrifices
OFFENSIVE AGAINST TERROR
hell yeah!
) calm calm
rule of law accountable institutions
Egypt, Palestine
Democracy
Up yours Hamas
You gotta change
9:30 PM
Saudi Arabia still love you man
liberty
Iran
hostage
clerical elite
REGIME
come to an end
defying world
nooclear
nooclear weapons
Merica rally the world
now a personal note to you Iranians
looking forward to FREE IRAN
take the offensive
) no way
spreading hope
disease
compassion abroad
) next you’re going to say SEA OF FIRE and WIPE OFF THE MAP
HIV/AIDS, malaria, genocide, slavery, poverty, corruption, despair, drug trade
education of girls
conscience of our country
and so on period
NOW FOR MORE OFFENSIVE ON TERRORISM
here at home
good going guys thanks hound dog
deserve tools PATRIOT ACT
reauthorize
conspiracy
listening on the phone
9:35 PM
pursuing international communications
authority, I got the authority
Terrorist Surveillance Program
HOOOOWEE! Hound-dog!
principles willing to act
values gave us birth
) what?
freedom is on the march
long war with a determined enemy
protect our country
support our troops
FREEDOM!!!
build prosperity
healthy vigorous economy growing faster than some other countries’
American people
envy of the world
feed people spheres
wallowing off our conomy
immigrants good
set out a better path
jobs
) feed people spheres?
) that actually sounds interesting
that’s what he said man
9:40 PM
four years of uninterrupted economic growth?
I didn’t know that was going on
I sort of thought the economy sucked
ok just tax cuts
make em permanenet
every year we’ve cut the budget of non-Security spending
all that other crap, we’re getting rid of it
special interest projects
give me the line item veto
baby boomers turn 60
Bush and Clinton
same age
Congress gotta do what I want it to do!
Save Social Security
rising costs of entitlements
problem not going away
sort of like my war machine
get problem solved across the aisle come on
keep Merica petitive
9:45 PM
Buy American
nobody can be the American Worker
keeping Merica petitive
orderly secure borders
guest worker program
keeping Merica petitive
health care
We’re meeting our responsibility
give me medical liability reform
people can’t be suing their doctors come on
break addiction
to oil
through technology
Energy
hydrogen cars
make a shit load of ethanol
9:50 PM
reduce reliance on middle-eastern oil
keep Merica petitive
human talent and creativity
American Competitiveness Initiative
) too bad, merica.com is registered
math and science
nanotechnology
soopercomputing
research in public private sectors
tell kids to take more math and science
) OH YEAH!
we’re doing great things with No Child Left Behind
) YOU GO GEORGE!
smarter kids
we’ll show the world
compassionate, hopeful nation
a quiet transformation
a life of personal responsibility
is a life of fulfillment
9:55 PM
people still have concerns
gay marriage
suffering caused by diseases
we’ll prove the pessimists wrong
my new members on the bench
Hound Dog Alito!
Jimbo Roberts!
Props to Sandra Day O’Connor, cya
hopeful society
PROHIBIT HUMAN CLONING
HUMAN ANIMAL HYBRIDS
human body a gift from creator
should not be harvested
everybody got a pledge to serve society
character of Merica
caring adults changing lives of children
encourage young people to stay in school
rather than selling crack
10:00 PM
New Orleans
we’re doing just fine in New Orleans
but we’re going to turn it into a Republican stronghold
with good golf courses
hopeful society
HIV/AIDs nod to the African Americans
HIV tests in African American churches
ideological conflict we did nothing to invite
human action
Lincoln/slavery, King/racism, Me/terrorism
history written in courage
FREEDOMed
optimistic faithful
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!
) w00t